Can you decode 500+ hilariously mangled words, phrases, and lyrics?

WELCOME TO LOOP ETERNAL

Turn real-world walks into a card-collecting adventure.

Move a dot. Make a little room.

Clear the bench. Find the perfect fit.

A tiny campsite, carefully arranged.

Nine digits. A fresh way to focus.

Make room for one clever move.

Build a skyline from a different view.

Find a place for every rectangle.

One thoughtful pour. A crystal flower.

One thoughtful jump at a time.

Fit a patch. Grow a little orchard.

Follow the clues. Uncover a pattern.

Every safe square has a reason.

A little less traffic. A little more room.

Take the coast road. Chase the next corner.

Find what stays. Shade the rest.

Every island belongs together.

A small sprout. A world to explore.